11 Mar, ’21

The Great Unfollowing, Week 3 (and change)

by Cal

Ash Wednesday was three weeks ago yesterday, which puts it at three weeks and change since I had Yet Another Social Media Meltdown and reacted by unfollowing everyone. And it's been going... pretty well, actually.

The main thing I hoped it'd do worked out: I'm spending less time sitting at the computer dissociating my life away.

Some other positives. Despite a bunch of other stressful stuff going on since then, our running baseline mental health level has been a lot better. Not great by a long shot, but better. The fact that I'm doing better even with more crap going on in my life just by cutting off the constant flow of Social Media Posting says a fuckton imo. I'm also doing pretty well at managing my own project goals and avoiding both burn-out and overwhelming myself. I even started writing again! If I can get a few hundred words down today, which I kinda thing I will, I'll have a three-day streak going and while I don't hold myself to streaks because they're too high-pressure, that still feels pretty great.

On the negatives side... There's a few friends I've been missing talking to, although the situation for "why" is pretty different for everyone, ranging from "we're not around at the same time" to "they're hurt/pissed at me for unfollowing them". Not much I can do about the latter but for the former in particular I've been waving my forum around every now and then to try to convince people to check back in - I think all of my friends have an account on there. (So far, though, only me and B have really been on.) And... I still get kind of anxious-twitchy sometimes about What Are People Saying Right Now, but that's absolutely outweighed by the reduction of anxiety and stress in not being constantly bombarded by politics and fediverse drama and Hot Takes About How Things Are Bad.

And BOY has it been GREAT to not have that pressure to be HAVING hot takes about how things are bad?? I hadn't even realized how much that was a thing, but holy crap. There is so much second-hand negativity that was dumping over me all the time that is just. Gone. Not there.

So yeah, overall, I'm feeling pretty good about how this is going, and I feel like the ultimate endgame here is going to be me not going back.